5 weeks old

Holy cow - I can't believe my baby girl is already 5 weeks old! She's still so tiny and so precious, but she's already changed A LOT in 5 weeks - and they've flown by . . . I can't imagine what the rest of her life is going to be like - SO FAST! When any stranger (who is older and has a child) meets her the first thing out of their mouth is, "Soak it all in! It goes by so fast!"

And I can already attest to that being truth - my parents say to just wait until her personality comes out! Even faster . . .

I don't want time to go by, yet, I do - it's been the story of my life for the past few weeks - Constant Contradictions - but I'm experiencing one again:

so ready to see her smile, so ready to have her sleep for longer at night, so ready to have her eat more efficiently so it doesn't have to be every 3 hours so I could go out with her for longer periods of time before my shirt and bra are soaking wet because it's time to eat again, so ready for her to laugh when she interacts with us, and so ready to have her know when "Daddy's coming home!" . . .

but

not ready for her to not be so tiny, not ready for her to not be so sleepy all the time that she doesn't fall asleep anymore while she's eating because it's so cute, not ready for her to not be able to fit in her newborn clothes, not ready for her to move to size 1 diapers, not ready for her to not sleep the whole time we're "out and about", not ready for her to not want to be so snuggly, not ready for her to not need me every 3 hours for survival . . .

she's changing by the minute - I do think she's getting more and more precious with each one that passes :)

One great thing that happened with her being 5 weeks old is that Bukes and I got to go on a date night - just the 2 of us - last night. Birdie kept her and she did great. I have to admit that I was a little uneasy about leaving her for that amount of time. I'd already left her twice before - once on week 2 to go get my haircut (great "me" time and opportunity to be pampered when feeling not so hot about my appearance!) and once on week 4 for a girls night to see a movie that just so happened to be sold out so I ended up not being gone for as long as I had planned. But last night was also different because I wasn't leaving her with Tay. Not that I don't 100% trust Birdie!!!!, but it was just different - like her first time really on her own away from us. And it made me a little sad.

I was trying to keep it from Tay because I didn't want to hurt his feelings and make him think I didn't want to go on a date with him, but, I ended up telling him how I was feeling (which is ALWAYS a good move - don't know why I hesitate sometimes) and he completely understood and didn't take it personally (thank goodness) and it made me feel better just telling him how I was feeling :).

And we had a great time.

We went through the whole struggle of not wanting to talk about Daye the whole time vs not wanting to act like she didn't exist and we didn't just have the biggest life change happen 5 weeks ago. :)

So, we talked about what its like having a daughter, how our bonding with her is progressing, how I'm feeling about being a stay at home mom, and how SO STINKING TIRED WE ARE! But we also talked about other things like dream places we want to go: Switzerland, Disney World, Africa and the beach as a family; the weddings coming up next weekend (Tay's in Anthony's and I'm in Becca's), running (since I've not been able to exercise I've had a growing urge to just go for a run - and I'm not a runner, I'm a walker, but due to the incredible lack of activity (put aside all the work my breasts are getting from their new utilitarian role) I've thought about taking up running once I can get back in the swing of things - and this made Tay very excited . . . hope I didn't speak to soon and regret ever telling him . . . oops :)

It was a relatively normal date night. Tay said on the way to Maggiano's "I still remember what life was like before being a Dad." I laughed - because I do too. We really loved the way things were before. We loved our date nights, our flexibility, our regular life; we enjoyed each other, we had fun together. Now don't hear what I am not saying. I am not saying that we wish we didn't have Daye - that is NOT WHAT I AM SAYING, I am just saying that one of the reason's it's been such an adjustment is because we are adjusting to something we know we will love from something we ALREADY did love :). And, how THANKFUL we are that we LOVED our life before we became parents. How THANKFUL we are that we still enjoy each other and how THANKFUL we are that we know we are going to love this next phase, but when we are being honest, we are just having to adjust to it's newness. It's still so new that we honestly don't feel completely comfortable in it - and we are still able to remember the phase we were comfortable in :).

But who said life was supposed to be comfortable?!

:)

So, those are my thoughts on our personal parenthood for the day. Now I'm going to close my eyes for 20 minutes before I feed Daye again :)

really?!?! Didn't I JUST feed her?!?!?!

:)

and now, for the preciousness