Our favorite place

 Publix!

 (Daye's voice)

haaaaaaaayyyyyyyoooooooo!

oh man I lub this! Look down that aisle!

go mom go mom go!

Fank you so much for bwinging me hewre!

fighting to hear

(this one may be a little heavy)
..........

One of the greatest things I learned in counseling was looking back at the/a initiating event and answering the question a critical question that helped reshape a lot.

In my own personal journey I had to thrash through
the anger
and confusion
and sadness
and fear
and disappointment
as if I were literally making my way through high weeds.
The image I have is using my arms with such force as to hopefully knock them down so they wouldn't be in my way when I walked back out. Forcing the anger to the side with my right arm then giving confusion a hard blow with my left all the while moving my legs heavily, continually, one foot in front of the other, one step at a time . . .
swish!
swish!
swish!
swish!

As I was being led through "reliving" the experience with the counselor, I was given the chance to experience the reality of emotions that had, in some respects, been holding me captive.
I'm given permission to be angry. And to express it.
I'm given permission to be disappointed. And to express it.
And with each other emotion, "Name it, Sal. Give it life, here in this safe place, so you may then allow it to breathe its last breath."
Because
emotions do not always represent truth. . .

Then,
I am asked the question, while I am in the climax of this event, the question that will help lead me out,

"Where was Jesus?"

And I pause
And I keep my eyes closed
And I search
surveying the scene
And I find Him
I see Him in the room
I see Him sitting there
right next to me
holding my hand
whispering,
"I am here."
"Do not be afraid"

the faint voice of the counselor says, "stay with Him there . . . let Him finish . . . "

and so I remain there
back in that event
that has held so much power over me
that has been a place of fear
of tears
of hopelessness
and I hear Him gently say,
"Be still"
"I am your Peace"
"I am able"

And I respond,
"What more are you whispering? And why are you whispering? Because it seems like I hear another voice louder.
I all along was hearing,
'there is no hope.'
'look at this situation, you'll never be able to move past it'
'protect yourself'
'these are the cards you were dealt'
'get used to it'

and I find myself tearfully begging,
"Why weren't you louder, Jesus? Why weren't you screaming at the top of your lungs to drown out those lies? What were you saying in that room?"

And He responds, "I was saying there is hope."
"I was saying that I already overcame this"
"I was saying I have plans for you"
"I was saying you are secure in Me"
"I was saying I am going to use this to work for your good and My Glory"
"I was saying I came so you may have life to the fullest"
"I was saying I will walk you through this and what comes next. Yes, Sal, there will be a "next", but I am the One you can depend on . . . always."


And I say, "Clearly, Lord.
I want to hear You CLEARLY.
Proclaim your Truth clearly.
Please.
Help me to wage the two voices against each other and see which is Truth. And let me grab onto it.
Hope.
You've offered hope
I choose that."

"Here I am."
"You can trust me"
"You have the choice to trust me"
"All because of Me"
"All because of what I've already done"
"I have already rescued you"
"I'll do it again"
"And again"


.............


Which voice are you hearing?

Fight to hear Jesus.
He's been there all along

"hip", dumpster diving, strikethroughs, OH MY GOODNESS

the tie favorite birthday from 11 questions is now going to be further explained here!

This time 6 years ago Tay and I were both home from college in his parent's kitchen. For Valentine's Day I unwrapped a Fromer's Guide to Los Angeles and 2 tickets to LAX for March 8th, 2006  . . . a few days before my birthday.  My cousins, Alla, Lizzie and Bishop lived out there at the time and we would be going to visit/stay with them during our spring break! Neither Tay nor I have ever been to CA, so, excited to say the least! And, to get to hang with my cousins and Aunt and Uncle was such a treat!

The weekend before we leave I get a surprise visit at Carolina from Handley and Aubs. On Saturday we decide to go shopping in 5 points because I may or may not mention that I'm slightly suspicious I will be getting engaged on the trip they are two of the hippest dressers I know and I'd love to have them help me pick out something cute and California-ish to wear just in case I am possibly proposed to and have pictures taken of the monumental occasion.
We buy a super cute brown dress and match it with some new gold flats and some jewelry and I am ready to go!

So, Tay and I land in LA late March 8th and my Uncle picks us up from the airport. The next morning we walk my cousins to school (they lived in Manhattan Beach just a block from their schools, so fun!) and then borrow my Uncle's convertible for the rest of the day! We basically make our way down the coast - Hermosa Beach for breakfast, Redondo Beach for a coffee stop, Palos Verdes for an afternoon lunch . . .simply dreamy and sunny, and so California-ish! We head back to their house to shower and put on my new hip dress, shoes, sunglasses and jewelry change clothes for our dinner reservations in Malibu.

We stop and walk on the Santa Monica Pier where the temperatures drop ridiculously lower and the wind picks up ridiculously fiercer. We take fun pictures and I have to hold my dress down so it doesn't fly up in the wind look so hip.
We drive on to Malibu and stop at some earthy store to get some goodies and kill some time.
We park at the cliffs of Point Dume and the weather has now reached a painful chill. So, we open the trunk of my Uncle's car to search for any type of blanket or layer I could begrudgingly put on and cover up my hip outfit gratefully add for warmth. We find a navy, oversized, golf wind breaker and some black pants - now hip has gone to bulky and dark and something a man would wear on the golf course - nice.

As we head for the climb up the cliff, I notice Tay carefully holding one side of his blazer close to his body to make sure the potential place I've detected as where the ring is stowed away doesn't blow out of his pocket  he keeps warm in these hurricane degree winds.
When we get to the top and find a good spot to sit and watch the sunset I try and keep the conversation going because Tay has turned very quiet. (In another post I will explain some of our relationship dynamics. Short synopsis: most of the time he talks and I listen/laugh).
(I hold in my giddiness not wanting to ruin anything that he may have planned, but I am so onto his scheme.)

As the sun is lowering, out of nowhere two heads pop up over the edge of the cliff and stare us in the face.
Rock climbers.
Tay cusses under his breath cordially says hello as they bring their ropes and gear practically to our feet and talk about how great this view is. I chuckle as they make their way to the next assent and leave us to our own. But, right as they are out of sight two huge labs come running up to greet us. Barking and licking us as any disruption to a perfectly planned private proposal friendly dog does! Their owners, an older man and woman, yell after them and come join them frolicking around and talking about how georgous the sunset is going to be on an evening like this "when the sky is no longer pure blue, but has clouds to provide casting for shadows and colors." Taylor cusses again and this times lets out an audible, "Are you kidding me?!" smiles and nods and then turns to me and says, "We've got to find a quiet spot before this sun goes down!"

He pulls my hand, drags me up the cliff while I'm tripping over my cute shoes trying to keep up and carefully leads me to a new, further-from-other-people-spot.
When we arrive, I turn back to the ocean to take a picture of the sun finally setting and when I turn back around, he is on one knee holding out an open box with a ring inside of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He says,
"I've been waiting my whole life to do this, Sal.
Will you marry me?
Will you be my wife?"

And I jump up and down and I say, "YES!" and "OH MY GOODNESS!" and get him up off his knee and hug him and kiss him and squeal "OH MY GOODNESS" about 8,459 more times and "Tell me everything!" and "Did you ask my Dad?" and "How long have you been planning?!?" and then "IT'S FREAKING FREEZING! Can we go back to the car, now?!"

We make our way back down to the car as I'm now tripping in my cute shoes not because he's dragging me but because I'm entranced by this ring on my finger and I'm distracted by shrieking "OH MY GOODNESS! OH MY GOODNESS! OH MY GOODNESS!" and then I try and pull back the image of him on his knee and I am mad that I got him up so quickly because that was such a romantic position, "rats!", I think.
We get in the car and I say, "OH MY GOODNESS! Should we call my parents?!"
We call my parents (who have flown out to CA and are currently at my cousin's house) and go crazy and they beg us to come back to the house so they can see the ring.

We forgo our dinner reservations and head back to Manhattan Beach which is about 45 minutes away. This ends up being so great because we can make phone calls to his parents, our siblings, and our friends to scream in the phone, "OH MY GOODNESS OH MY GOODNESS!!!!" and have Tay smile at how loud my voice can get as I respond to each person's excitement, "Oh my GOODness!"
:)

When we get back to the house there is a banner and party hats and my sister and her future fiance and champagne and a delicious meal and hugs and "Taylor you did SOOOO GOOD on this ring!" and "Tell us the story!" and "Why are you wearing that large pullover?" and high fives and pictures being taken and my cousins saying "I had no idea!" and my aunt saying "I had so much fun helping Tay figure out details for this!" and more phone calls.

One phone call is to Handley (the one from above who led me to my hip outfit). As I'm explaining all the details of the story a knock on the front door happens and she is walking in with Land (her bro, my cuz), Aunt Peggy and Uncle Scot! They have flown out to CA for this celebration!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHH enter 7 million more "OH MY GOODNESSes!" here! :)
So fun!

So, we celebrate into the night and dream and giggle and squeal and talk about MARRIAGE and how this was absolutely one of the most romantic times of my life EVER!
After the family has gone to sleep I sit with Tay on the couch and ask him to tell me more and more about this master plan. Like, how did he afford a trip to CA and a ring?
Your typical answer: He dove in dumpsters!
In 2005/2006, Wendy's and Air Tran were running that deal of if you got enough blue Wendy's cups you could trade them in for a free round trip domestic flight on Air Tran? Well, Tay couldn't drink thousands of CocaColas from Wendy's so, he and a buddy, located all of the Wendy's in Athens and proceeded to follow their trash cycles and dive into the Dumpsters at the appropriate time to retrieve as many blue cups as possible. DIS.GUS.TING. (but wildly romantic, too, right?!) One time the cops caught them and when Tay further explained that he was trying to accumulate enough cups to fly his girlfriend out to CA to propose to her, the officer let him off the hook and wished him as many cups for which he could dive!

That boy was IN LOVE!

There are many more details but I'm sure some have stopped reading by now and the nugget is waking up from her nap and I'm losing my steam for coming up with more things to strikethrough and make myself laugh at what I'm thinking is really funny but then thinking, "Others probably don't think it's as funny" and then reminding myself, "its my outlet, strange as it may be" :)

10 months!

(This is Daye speaking)

 "I love all sorts of electricity! Cords, outlets, and my new favorite, static hair!"

  "Look how it scatters when I spin my head!"

 "Com'on Girry, you try! Rub your hair against the chair!"

 "There we go! Hey, look, yours sticks straight up! Even your tail too!"

 "Com'ere Phelpsy! Lemme show 'em your new haircut!"

"I call him The Phelmation cause his spots are exposed. His fur can't staticfy anymore because Daddy shaved it yesterday."

"Mama thought this was the most hilarious one!"

another computer glitch

(this is me talking randomly with random photos interspersed that may or may not have anything to do with what I'm rambling about and some of them may have captions and some may not. How's that for a confusing post. But, now you know:)

well, not really a glitch

just a little period where the battery wouldn't charge.

Thanks to this girl

who was caught once sucking on the end of the cord

the part that goes into the computer

"What? Who? Me? No, Mama, I didn't do anything"

thankfully she wasn't electrocuted

"MMMMMM I love putting things in my mouth"

:)

so it sat in rice for a few days

and dried out

and then would keep the computer functioning while plugged in

but never charge it

and so yesterday

it finally just shut off.

So,

today we got a new cord.

Crazy, right?

That just yesterday the cord stopped working

and just today I can put in the new one.

Crazy that we live in a place

where replacing things 

is as easy as jumping in the car.

"Hey Mama. I'm just ridin' back here, but makin' sure you're still up there."

and driving to the mall

and getting a new one.

Would have been even easier

to just order online.

but

we needed it faster.

So we went and got it immediately.

Pretty crazy,

this place we live.

So different

than Africa.

Did you know I love Africa?

Some of my friends,

from Africa,

came to visit last weekend

Taylor talked me into

wearing our African attire

that the Liberians gave us

our last night with them

in 2009.

I hesitated

I was embarrassed

I was concerned

with what people would think
about me.

I care,

what people think.

But, Tay,

was concerned too.

Only he was concerned in a good way,

My Bukes, he is brave.

He was concerned 
about showing our friends

that we love these clothes

that we appreciate

this amazing gift

that they used their own money

to purchase

and give to us

in a special, Liberian-ceremonial-way

as a "thank you" 

for coming

to their country.

So I put it on

and I thanked God for my Tay.

For being more concerned with others

to wear our gifts

with pride

and thanksgiving.

Zinnah came from Monrovia, Liberia

Mama Irene came from Dar, Tanzania

Papa Deo did too

Alexis came from Arusha, Tanzania

And there were many others

from Zimbabwe,

from the Congo,

from Kenya.

I hadn't met them before

but, Oh! 

They embraced me as if I had

There is so much 

I want to say

about these people.

So much they have taught me,

so much.

But

I'm not feeling like I have the right words.

Except that saying, 

you've probably heard before,

I'm just telling you

it's true.

We need Africa

more than Africa needs us

so proud

You may remember our only ever giveaway! And so you may remember learning about Mwana! Well, Brooke was just featured on the Children of the Nations website! 

This really is the neatest thing. So so proud of Brooke. The article reads:

When Brooke Wright thought of needs in Africa, the last thing that came to her mind was blankets.  But when she packed up for her first trip to Malawi, she was told blankets would make good gifts for her sponsored children.  So she squeezed two blankets into her luggage, and set off for an adventure that would change her life. 

Brooke had come to Malawi on a Venture trip with Children of the Nations (COTN), and what she saw and learned there rocked her world.  "I fell in love with Africa on that trip," says Brooke.  "And at the same time it totally turned my world upside-down."  Brooke returned from Africa with Malawi heavy on her heart.   "I wanted to do something, but I didn't know what that would look like," she explains. It was out of this yearning to give back that Mwana, Brooke's "buy one, give one" blanket company, was born. 

Brooke remembers the first time she heard of the need for blankets in Mgwayi, a rural community in Malawi where COTN runs a Village Partnership Program.  A COTN–Malawi staff member was giving a presentation on sponsorship, and he specifically called out the need for blankets.  "I had never heard of that need before," says Brooke.  "In Africa you don't see the need for blankets—but when you actually go there, you realize it gets chilly at night."  Walking around Mgwayi village, Brooke was struck by the small huts with no beds and no furniture.  "I just realized how little they have," she says. 

But the ultimate inspiration came from her sponsored children.  When Brooke handed Isaac and Iness each a blanket, she realized the difference the simple gift of warmth and comfort can make.  "It was amazing," she says, remembering the moment Isaac and Iness received their blankets.  "I realized that giving them something to comfort them when they get cold at night, or just something they can call their own, can be so impactful."

The need moved Brooke to action.  A few months after returning home, Brooke went to a conference and encountered an organization that crochets beanies to benefit women in Africa.  She realized she could do something similar.  "I can't crochet, but I can sew," she laughs.  Brooke contacted COTN to see if they could build a resource partnership, where her new business could supply blankets to children in Malawi.  When COTN–USA Resource Director Dave Schertzer was enthusiastic about the potential partnership, Brooke immediately bought fabric.  That weekend she got her first sixteen orders.  Since then Mwana, which means "baby" in Mgwayi's local language, has taken off. 

Each purchase covers the cost for COTN to send one blanket to the children of Mgwayi.  The handmade blankets have an appliqué of Africa stitched on the back, to remind customers that a child in Africa will have their very own blanket because of their purchase.  The first shipment is scheduled for May, and Brooke hopes to send 253 blankets to Mgwayi. Brooke plans to travel back to Malawi in June to visit the children who received blankets through Mwana, and also hopes to teach sewing to the women of the village.  "I don't want it to be just about giving children blankets, but also helping the women find a way to make money," she explains. 

Mwana blankets are available for sale online.  Buy one today and share warmth with children in need in Malawi. 

Or, visit our gift catalog to send a blanket directly to a child in Africa. 

Material needs are just the first step of holistic care.  Sponsor a child today, and transform a life.

good reads

(This is Sally's Voice)
I've been doing a lot of reading lately.

A lot of this
and a lot of this

and although those two things are highly similar, the first one is a catch up and the second is staying up to speed . . . it's highly intriguing.

I've also been reading a lot of this
actually I finished that and am now hooked on this

all interspersed with finishing this and this and starting this

whoa
im overwhelmed

lots of reading

so im going to take a break to show you some pics from the past for a little catch up. (and im feeling the desire to remind you that pictures don't always tell everything that's been going on in our lives. they are not meant to paint some magical false reality. they are simply joyous things interspersed amidst the reality that life is also hard and sad and confusing.)

 

and im now going to go back to reading . . . im going to neglect the things that i probably should be reading and jump back into what's got me trapped the most . . . this one