I've gone back and forth for the past few days on whether or not to expose the ugliness of my heart and what's existed inside it since having the opportunity to bring a new life into the world. However, the small steps I've taken to share these raw emotions with a few people, I've received affirmation that I'm normal and not alone. I also feel like I've started to round a corner and am beginning to taste the reasons these things are "worth it".
Please hear my heart: I recognize I am beyond blessed for the experience I've had - one clothed in health and care, one free of complications and I know things could be so much harder.
And that I realize every person's experience is DIFFERENT and I don't attempt to claim that this is how yours will be - but, if you do experience some of the same things, I want you to be assured that you are normal and you are not alone and it is ok!
I wrote the following 3 "entries" for 2 reasons: 1. As a cry for prayer and 2. As a healing tool for myself to "get it out" of my head onto paper and into the Hands of the One I can Trust.
So, in hopes to bring encouragement to others who may go through this in the future and to shed light on the reality of what one can go through after giving birth I choose to share the this with you.
(and a little warning that it describes some things in feminine detail)
There is more I want to share - a follow up from what's it's been since the last entry - since now we are at 1 MONTH old! But, this post has already been long enough and you may not even be reading anymore - so, an up-to-date update will come soon.
And, how can I make a post without a picture - I'm pretty positive it's what entices you all here anyway :) and I'm ok with that!