Friday, May 11, 2012


If I were to sum up
last year
in a few short words
the summary would be
"I have a choice."

It came in a moment
it had been brewing
for probably
my whole life.

But the flip
in my thinking
in this particular
set of circumstances
in a moment
or should i say

I heard
God whisper,
"But you have a choice"

and for some reason
I stopped.

"A Defining Moneybags"
it could be described
like that.

I have a choice

I had been caught
in the words,
"I do not trust them."

in the burrow
of "why,
why do I not trust them?"
it came down
to the embarrassing
that I did not trust God.

And then
He responded.
He said,
"But you have a choice.
You can
you cannot.
It's up to you."

And for some reason
it was then
that I took hold
of the chance
to choose.

And I mouthed
the words,
but more tentative,
almost like a question,
"ok. . .?"

I spoke the words,
"I choose to trust You."

And literally, I was
I was empowered.

So then,
I claimed the words,
"I choose to trust You."

And over the course
of the rest of the day
I walked a little lighter
"I have a choice!"

I have a choice
to keep analyzing
and critiquing
and having good reason to be cynical,
I can choose to trust.

I have a choice
to stay locked on the unpleasant
because this situation is different
because this one it's not possible to move past
the pity
the pain
that which has been broken
I can choose to see the Goodness.

In everything,
I have a choice.

I still stink
at choosing
what leads to Goodness.

I still choose
to sulk
to judge
to compare
to believe the lies.

in the times when I do
choose to trust
choose to believe
choose to laugh
choose the eternal,

it's then
that I taste
living in His Goodness;
which He
has given me
the opportunity
in all things
in all days
in all the moneybags of my life.

Thank you, Dear Lord
You never stop
giving me
a chance
to choose You.
And when I do
Oh! How sweet it is!

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